We’re going to come right out and say it... The only thing grinding our gears more than the state of the mainstream media is seeing men out there disrespecting themselves with soft, wispy mustache styles!
When you see a boy with a wispy little teen mustache compared to a bushy, bird nest mustache done right, you instantly know the difference in the man. (So do the ladies... and your boss… and guess what! It’s how your parents' pick their favourite child too!)
Fortunately, we have some good news for all you misguided mustache rocking wannabes. Wild Willies has got your BACK! All you have to do is take a few minutes and read our Modern Guide to Mustache Styles.
Before we jump in, fair warning, if this post is for you, and you know who you are, DO NOT go outside before fixing this... (For your own good.)
And if you’re reading this for a “friend,” who needs to see this post... then be a good guy and help him out. You might let your buddy walk around with food in his teeth all day but by God - don’t let him go back into the world until his mustache is looking fly.
Alright - enough chit chat. Let’s dig in.
Table of Contents
The Handlebar Mustache
Let's start with one of the classic mustache styles - the handlebar mustache.
This mustache style was made famous in the Wild West during the early 19th century. If you have an ancestor named Wyatt or Virgil who wore a handlebar mustache then you have one tough SOB in your family tree.
Here is a fact we bet you didn't know - the handlebar mustache is an award-winning mustache.
MLB Hall of Famer Rollie Fingers won $300 from then Oakland A’s manager Charlie Finley in a facial hair growing contest back in the 1970s.
Near the end of his career, when the Cincinnati Reds asked Rollie to come play for them, on condition that he shaves his facial hair, he showed his true colors and hung up his cleats.
Well done, Rollie. We would have done the same thing.
How to grow and style your handlebar mustache
Growing a handlebar mustache is like hunting an elk. It can take some time, but damn is it worth it when that tender meat is off the fire!
The handlebar takes more than six months to get the right length of lip hair to curl the sides. In order to have a handlebar mustache, you need the ability to grow both long and thick lip hair.
If ya don’t... buy some of our famous beard growth gummies.
To style this old-school gem, you’re going to need mustache wax or balm, a comb and a slew of other products if you so choose. We think Greg Berzinsky’s handlebar is pretty cool, so these instructions are loosely based on his tutorial:
- First, wash your ‘stache with some beard wash and rinse. While it’s still wet, run a round brush under the beard (out and downward from your nose to your lip) while pulling it in the direction of the curl.
- Second, use a blow dryer to get your hair moving the direction you want your mustache to go (outward from your mouth). Use the blow dryer again on the tips, this time using the round brush to curl the tips up by rolling the brush up as you simultaneously pull it outward.
- Third, try using our beard butter on your handlebar. If you’re the type who likes to “go big or go home," grab some mustache wax, heat it up with the blow dryer, and apply it directly to the ends of your mustache while it’s still warm.
- Finally, use a comb to train the mustache again in the direction you want it to go.
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The Chevron Mustache
The chevron mustache is a Wild Willies approved look for daily life. A chevron mustache says to the world that you’ve had your fun and you are ready to settle down but, if anyone changes the radio station while you are driving, there will be hell to pay.
Any guy that you see with a chevron mustache probably is a dad or wants to be a dad. If we’re wrong about that then we certainly know that he has a dad, and that his dad probably wore a chevron mustache as well.
The Chevron mustache extends past the corners of the mouth and covers the top lip. It looks like an upside-down “V” shape and is one of the easiest mustaches to pull off.
A good chevron mustache will add maturity and refinement to any face. Don’t believe us? Check out this picture of Tom Selleck without his mustache and tell us you like his face better.
Yah - that's what we thought.
How to grow and style your chevron mustache
Follow these tips for the perfect chevron:
- Use scissors to keep the mustache tidy and hairs away from your mouth.
- Trim the hair at the edges so that it doesn't grow past the lower corners of your mouth.
- If you don’t have the right scissors, they are included in our 5 star Ultimate Grooming Kit.
- Keep your chevron from looking like a soup strainer and wash it often.
- Apply beard oil or beard soft for a non-itchy and great looking mustache.
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The Pencil Mustache
Champagne, the Eiffel Tower and cycling races are a few things France is known for. But did you know that our brothers over in France also brought us one of the more distinguished mustache styles?
Made popular in the 30s and 40s, Frenchmen and Americans alike wore this signature look that you might remember from old black and white movies.
When we see a pencil mustache at Wild Willies, we always think of a log of wood. Not because of the way it looks, but because you need some raw material before chopping up the fuel for an evening fire.
Not every man can grow the kind of beard that stirs the loins and brings a twinkle to the eye and hey, we might not judge you if you can’t personally!
No promises though, because with Wild Willies, you can grow the best beard around! At a certain point it’s just a lack of effort.
The best method at the end of the day is to start small and build up to it!
How to grow and style your pencil mustache
We’re going to keep this one short. Just like your pencil mustache.
Fair warning... the pencil mustache rarely lasts more than a few weeks before your significant other or a concerned family member forces you to shave it.
In that case, try our shave lube to make the experience a pleasant one.
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The Walrus Mustache
Fear. Awe. Respect.
A man with a walrus mustache is not a guy you want to f*ck with. It can make the most gentle artist look like a grizzled veteran and it has been worn by such characters as Bill the Butcher in "Gangs of New York" or Ron Swanson in "Parks and Recreation."
The walrus mustache is basically the chevron mustache on steroids.
This mustache style has been made famous by men like Teddy Roosevelt, Sam Elliot and of course, walruses.
Ready to start growing your walrus? Grab a top hat and some Wild Willies products and follow these instructions:
How to grow and style your walrus mustache
Since this mustache style requires some hard work and grooming, follow these steps:
- Let your mustache grow out for 6 months with regular maintenance to avoid it looking patchy.
- Use a beard brush to boost volume and keep the mustache hairs tidy.
- You might also want to use a bear straightener to keep all the hairs ordered and growing in a straight direction.
- Mix in some beard oil a few times a week to keep your mustache hairs healthy.
- Make sure you shape the edges of your mustache into the walrus shape.
Growing out the walrus mustache shows friends and family that you don’t mind being the go-to guy for backyard BBQs and cookouts. Everyone will assume you know what you’re doing when it comes to taking care of business.
Don’t let them down.
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The Beardstache
I bet you didn’t see that coming, did you?
The beardstache is a very popular style that women are far more likely to find sexy than most of the other styles on this list. Obviously, a full beard would win the day, but a beardstache is pretty damn close.
Maybe it’s the five o’clock shadow, or the definition it brings to the jawline, but women go crazy for a beardstache. This style is also one of the more versatile ones, working well with almost all of the mustache styles listed above.
Let us tell you a quick story about our friend, let's call him Joe.
Joe was an average guy with an average mustache but had a crush on the town hottie. The gal, let's call her Meghan, was really into art and especially sculptures.
She was WAY out of Joe’s league.
Now Joe, being a handy guy who could do some woodworking, went into his shop for two weeks straight and worked on his masterpiece: a wooden sculpture of Meghan’s childhood home.
At the end of the two weeks, he presented his masterpiece, forged from blood and sweat and tears, to Meghan.
Guess what happened?
She threw the damn thing out.
But Joe, in all his scruffy beardstache glory, had come out looking more attractive than Meghan had remembered.
They are happily married now and still talk about that little wooden house sculpture.
The only thing they fight about these days is when Joe says his facial hair is getting itchy and wants to shave. Get yourself some beard butter, Joe.
How to grow and style your beardstache
The beardstache must be groomed correctly or you run the risk of looking like a lazy, sloppy dude. So follow these steps:
- Apply Hemp Oil all over your beard and mustache to reduce itchiness, moisturize, and ensure your skin is well hydrated.
- You’ll want a beard trimmer with an attachment to keep your beard the length you need it to be, along with scissors and a comb for when your mustache growth really starts to take off.
- For more shapely stubble, use our beard shaping tool.
The Van Dyke Mustache
Of the mustache and beard combos, this one is probably the most common. The Van Dyke is extremely versatile, working with pretty much any mustache style you want to throw at it (yes, including the pencil mustache).
This style is named after Flemish painter Anthony Van Dyck, and it’s been around for a while, which is probably why there are so many versions of it.
You are probably thinking right now “Flemish? What is this? a Shakespeare essay?” But, don’t sleep on the Flemish.
Flemish people, from Belgium, drink 68 litres of beer per year on average. That is our kind of people.
Some guys choose to make their Van Dyke as close to the original as possible, and some put their own spin on it. We say BE UNIQUE. Wild Willies supports all men and all mustaches.
How to grow and style your Van Dyke Mustache
- If you’re going for the original curled mustache and pointy chin hair, it’ll be closer to six months of growth.
- You’ll want a good beard oil, a comb and scissors.
- You’ll need a brush if you plan to grow out the chin hair and mustache, along with some beard butter for a light hold.
The Best Products for all Mustache Styles
Here at Wild Willies, we have all of the products for your mustache and beard maintenance needs. Using our products can help you grow any mustache style you can dream up.
If you liked this article, share it with a friend and don’t forget to check back in soon to the same damn Wild Willies blog on the same damn Wild Willies website.
Your face will thank you, your friends will thank you and you just might learn a little something about life.
We’re beard and mustache experts and we only use and sell products to promote facial hair growth, skin and body products, and the essentials that every man needs to grow the most badass mustache around.
Want to see an epic beard-tastic video? Check out the Wild Willies Anthem.
-Wild Willies
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